We here at Irritable Blog Syndrome have decided to put our politics on the the line and actually take a stand -- a stand on pregnancy. IBS is against teen pregnancy. In fact, we're against ALL pregnancy, for we believe that it is a really, really bad idea to bring children into this world until AFTER the Revolution, until AFTER capitalism has been destroyed (by us, of course -- but give it time: we're doing all we can!). But, if you are one of those women or men who feel the need to have a child, we suggest the Fetus Cookie Cutter, pictured above. You can crank out as many "children" as you like, name them, make them in various flavors, and turn your "child" into a taste sensation! You can eat your children like some figure from a really, really horrible Greek tragedy and actually enjoy it, too! Mmm, chocolaty goodness! Now you can eat your young like certain resource-concerned animals do, and get back to nature! Entertain your friends! Let THEM eat your "babies," too! Fun for the whole family -- or rather, lack thereof. Only $9.99! Act now and get absolutely free the Ex-Husband Castrated Penis Cookie Cutter and the Anorexic Amoral Teen Daughter Baby-In-A-Dumpster Cookie Cutter! Don't delay, act today! Operators are standing by. Really. I kid you not.
Oh. My. God. I was laughing my head off before I even read this. The image was enough to send me reeling. But it is a great and socially conscious thought to simply make impermanent, edible offspring. Perfect for the 'baby shower' craze - birth 'em and eat 'em right there on the spot. Have the super-fantastic party without the life long hassle.
ReplyDeleteCan I buy the Ex-Husband Castrated Penis cookie cutter on it's own? I need that one stat. Does it work voo-doo doll style? or is that an extra charge?
Question: does one eat it like an animal cookie, limb by limb (I always chomp the head first), or is it to be ingested in one fell swoop? (difficult to tell the actual scale of the thing) I do have a few non-breeder friends who have been making possible baby noises of late. Perhaps if I send this cookie cutter to them they will finally shut up about the babies (because their mouths will be filled with yummy fetus cookie goodness)!
ReplyDeleteOh, and right-to-lifers should get a few and hand out fetus cookies at abortion clinics! spread the message through baked goods!
(Note: I am pro-choice and proud and wish the right-to-lifers would get smashed by an accident at their next NASCAR race)
Oh, and Janie- thank you. I nearly swallowed my tongue when I read your comment.
Irritable Blog Syndrome regrets to say that the Ex-Husband Castrated Penis Cookie Cutter is not sold separately. We would also like to point out that the recommended serving suggestion for the Fetus Cookie Cutter is one fetus, served whole, and eaten in the inverse order of the actual birth process, i.e., head-first, followed by torso (including arms), then legs. Coat with colored sugar sprinkles for a more festive appearance! Coming soon: Placento! The placenta-flavored tomato cocktail! Makes a great mixer!
ReplyDeleteToo funny.
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