Yes, Konbiyootoron IS Japanese for "The Sugar Tits of Capitalism are Loaded." It's a pun in both languages. The minute you think you're getting a free ride, BLAM! Right in the face. Both barrels. That's capitalism: one fucking hard-core robotic bitch. No free rides: you do what it tells you to do. The question is: when that bitch comes a-knockin', what ARE you gonna do? Well, most people do what they're coerced to do: THEY SHOP! But not Comrade X, oh no, Comrade X has a plan to deal with the Capitalist Overlords when they start sending out Automated Feminoid Coercion Devices (which you KNOW they're developing right now in secret bunkers under that mountain where the NORAD command center is). Here's the plan:1. DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR. When you hear the knock, I figure you've got probably ten seconds before they smash your door down (or blast it down with their mammary guns), which gives you just enough time to:
2. Jump out the window and:
3. Run like hell to the nearest ATM and:
4. Withdraw ALL YOUR MONEY, thus:
5. Causing a HUGE shortfall in liquid capital bank reserves, which will:
6. Create a world-wide panic resulting in:
7. A stock plunge of such mammoth proportions that NOTHING will be able to fix it, thus signaling the end of capitalism as we know it.
YES, I am aware that this has happened before! But this time it will be different! This time there will be ROBOTS!
Oh, and be careful: the robots will be equipped with LED screens (designed by Apple) which will display your mother's face (in HD) telling you to go out and spend. Yes, the government plans to Freud you into buying shit.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Comrade X would like to thank Comrade Le F for pointing him towards this top-secret artistic rendering of the Automated Feminoid Coercion Device.
ReplyDelete-- X
Uh. is that a playing card? from a whole deck of similar imaged playing cards? holy craps game comrade!
ReplyDeletecould it be that we femmes have already been implanted with spores (from eating Japanese mayo buns or using overly friendly Japanese laxatives) that will develop us into these Automated Feminoid Coersion Devices. We were once at war with Japan. I wouldn't put it past 'em to try and take us down.
Are we already walking among you. How will you know us? Our nipples.
Hmm. You have raised an interesting issue, Comrade Jones. Mayo buns and overuse of laxatives have evacuated our moral fiber (no pun intended), and we are being attacked from the Capitalist World Conspiracy from a source we did not expect. I advise checking every nipple you come across for metallic stiffness.
ReplyDeletei was going to simply comment with a single word.
ReplyDeletehysterical!
then i remembered that the word comes from when man-doctors used to think that a woman's uterus would fly up into her head (once a month at least) and that is what hysteria is. or something to that effect...
Dictionary says: ORIGIN mid 17th cent. (as an adjective): via Latin from Greek husterikos 'of the womb', from hustera 'womb' (hysteria being thought to be specific to women and associated with the womb), related to uterus.
already doomed. fear taking over. metallic nips at attention.