Comrade Y raises a good point about Sallie Mae, the fascistic governmental "lending" institution

I suppose you've heard of Sallie Mae's new Upromise program? No? I suppose Comrade Y, in her terror and fury, forgot to tell you about this. Well, here's what this new Upromise (You promise me what, Sallie Mae? That you'll continue your fine service of uncaring bureaucratic incompetence and longstanding tradition of FUCKING ME OVER?) is all about (in their words, with THE TRUTH inserted as editorial comment by Your Ever-Faithful and Lidless-Eyed Watchdog, Comrade X):

Here is the original verbiage from the website:

"Sallie Mae offers a free service to help pay down your loans --Upromise Loan Link. Join Upromise for free and let thousands of participating companies, products, and services help you earn money that can be used to help pay down your eligible Sallie Mae-serviced loans. Earn 1%-25% when you purchase goods and services from participating online and offline partners and dine out at participating restaurants. It's free."


And that's it. Huh? Well, here is the REAL story, as exposed by the editorial additions and clarifications of Comrade X:

"Sallie Mae offers [Sallie Mae never OFFERS anything -- they DEMAND shit (i.e., money), and keep demanding it until the day you die, then try to demand it from anyone you might have know, and if you refuse to give them any money while you're still alive the IRS then demands it and then they send the army to your house to demand it] a free [NOTHING IS FREE! WHEN WILL PEOPLE STOP FALLING FOR THIS LIE??????!!!!!!] service [They don't know the meaning of the word "service"] to help pay down your loans [Which is EXACTLY what they DON"T want because then they couldn't harass you, which they get special CIA and OSS and Mossad training in and have to go to top-secret Army Harassment School to perfect and then spend a year living in a special underwater facility where they learn to say nothing but the word "NO" and refuse to provide any information, no matter how much they're verbally abused] --Upromise Loan Link [Okay, that's just obscene -- loan link? What the fuck is that? Link my debt to my other debt so I can create more debt? Or link as in turd, because that's what this smells like] . Join Upromise for free [AGAIN with the LIES!!!] and let [hundreds of] thousands of [dollars of interest] participating companies, products [Participating products? How does a product participate? Do they call up a roll of toilet paper and say, "Hey, Cottonelle, with your 12 -- I mean really 24 -- rolls, do you want to participate in a program that takes student loan debt and links it to consumerism to make people who already don't have any money because they're giving it all to us spend MORE money? Don't you want a chunk of this pie of dumbasses who made the unholy mistake of borrowing money from a fascist lending organization? Do ya? Huh? HUH?!"] , and services [Again -- can't participate! Who writes this shit?] help you earn money [Now that is TOTALLY backwards -- how do you EARN money by SPENDING money (money you don't have) and going FURTHER into debt? "Hey, kid, come here, I have a deal for ya -- you borrow sixty thousand dollars, pay me back two hundred thousand dollars and change, and get this credit card and borrow another two thousand dollars and pay me back four thousand dollars and I'LL pay YOU a penny for every thousand dollars you put on the card or pay back in interest! How does that sound? Good, right?" Only the fucking government could come up with a "deal" like this -- and think anyone would buy into it!] that can be used to help pay down [Lie #2,337: they don't want you to pay down your loans!] your eligible [Fine print: no money borrowed from any institution linked to Sallie Mae or like Sallie Mae or that IS Sallie Mae is eligible] Sallie Mae-serviced loans [Yeah, you can service my loan, bitch!]. Earn 1%-25% [On what? Where? How? Based on what? I like how there's no information AT ALL about how this works in this little "promotional blurb"] when you purchase goods and services from participating online and offline partners and dine out at participating restaurants [Again -- how is this a deal, exactly?]. It's free [See previous twenty rants] and easy [NOTHING is easy when you deal with Sallie Mae! Oh, it's easy to GO into debt, impossible to GET OUT of it]."

What the fuck? And I'm not surprised it takes an hour to log on. It's the FUCKING GOVERNMENT and they can't design a computer system that works to save their fucking lives. No wonder this country is in such a mess and the Republicans can steal elections without even really trying that hard. They must actually be disappointed that it's that easy.Oh, and of course they give you questions you can't answer, and never let you make up your own. What the fuck? EVERYONE does that! It's like they bought a set of questions from some consulting company whose sole purpose in life is to get you to give answers to things you can't remember (as Comrade Y mentioned in her own post)! Like:

1. What room number was your mother in when you were born?
2. What is the middle name of the Treasury Secretary of Botswana?
3. How many millimeters did your mother's uterus dilate when she was in her third hour of labor?
4. What was the first word you ever misspelled?
5. How much did your third cousin's second dog's shit weigh after it ate its first human food?
6. What is the speed of light divided by pi and subtracted from the cosine of the diameter of the moon if the moon were three times larger than Shea Stadium but twice as small as the biggest county in Montana?
7. How much money do you actually owe, total, to everyone, right this second?

Fucking hell!