Comrade X goes for the easy target

Comrade X, not feeling particularly adventuresome this evening (his eyes are itchy and his nose runny and he feels unusually tired, which usually means the onset of spring -- allergy season is upon us, it would seem -- but upon further research [in many an obscure journal of recondite information] Comrade X came upon this stunning revelation [v. Svetlan V. I. Illiyanovitch, "Allergic Response and Capitalist Intrusion: the Case Against Biological Explanations of Otherwise Perfectly Understandable Monetary Pavlovian Reactions," The Journal of Recondite Information, vol. 22:1, Fall 1957, The University of Lower Slobovian Polytechnical Worker's Institute (translation courtesy of Marvin D. Kaiserhouser, Associate Professor of Slobovian Metaphysics and Applied Linguistics, Alabama State University of Applied Knowledge, Thames-Upon Hudson, Alabama)], which proved to him that his fatigue has nothing to do with the onset of spring AT ALL; to wit: "It is therefore concluded by this researcher and his team that it is a common misperception to think of the changing of the seasons from winter to spring as the onset of a kind of spore-induced counter-revolutionary molecular reaction in the human mucal system. In fact, no such reaction occurs. It has been found by this team that this reaction (commonly consisting of sneezing, itching of the mucus membranes, and a general sense of uneasiness and anxiety) has nothing to do with a biological or botanical source product, but instead is an induced reaction to the well-documented [v. Bulshitski and Crapolaski, "Monetary Hording and Seasonal Affective Derangement in Capitalist Countries Unimproved by the Glorious Revolution," Journal of Non-Propagandistic Information Leading to the Fall of Capitalism for the Glory of the Worker's State, 1:1, Winter 1933, University of Advanced Revolutionary Tactics, Gdansk] hoarding of capital during a perceived period of shortfall, the tension of which, when unreleased, can only lead to the downfall of the nation under which such capitalist accumulation occurs, is by design kept in check by turning said release into a controlled and directed outpouring of capital into the global monetary system through a kind of phantom disease, an uneasiness and physical discomfort, produced by means which this team can only surmise are the results of years of research into bourgeoisie-funded biological warfare." Allergies, therefore, do not exist; they are the product of a controlled release of capital back into the system from which said capital has, for the duration of the psychologically confusing winter period, been withheld." Needless to say, Your Outraged Narrator was both horrified and vindicated by this information, which, because suppressed and not easily obtainable in this country, at least, must be true!), has opted for the above-pictured easily-obtainable capitalist monstrosity (via the stultifying conduit of the Internet, created, as is well-known, by the owners of the means of production for the sole purpose of draining MORE capital from the workers trapped helplessly in their domiciles due to their already too-large dept load which insures their everlasting servitude to their capitalist overlords and precludes entrance into the world of Consumer Luxuries enjoyed by the bourgeoisie, all night, every night, which the working class can only gain glimpses of through their trivia-obsessed "news" feed and sensationalist and ideologically oppressive online journals, and which Comrade X can only engage in to the very great detriment of his ever-dwindling bank account, dwindling due to the massive debt load forcefully imposed upon him by his cruel and heartless oppressors!). And thus:

Pork brains in milk gravy. Comrade X does not feel that further comment is actually necessary, except perhaps this one:

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD EAT FUCKING PIG'S BRAINS, NO MATTER WHAT KIND OF GRAVY THEY WERE SERVED IN? AND WHAT THE FUCK IS "MILK GRAVY," ANYWAY?!

Where in the world does this product exist, and who is the target audience? How does something like this become a delicacy to ANY particular demographic? And, get this:

1,170% of your daily cholesterol? I didn't even know there WAS a percentage of daily cholesterol you needed to get! And THIS product seems to give you a LIFETIME'S worth! Do your arteries immediately harden and crack the minute you eat this disgusting product? And where else do you see cholesterol percentages listed? AND ANOTHER THING: "Serving Suggestion." What the fuck is THAT? They dump a pile of this pig puke in a bowl they got from Goodwill and add a SPRIG OF PARSLEY (and a tiny sprig, at that!) to it and call that a "serving suggestion"? That's all their full-time employed advertising crew could come up with to dress up this fucking dog?! What the hell!? And their "milk gravy" seems, according to the ingredients, to be just milk with a little bit of MSG and perhaps corn starch (it's hard to actually read the label in this picture -- and I'll bet it's that fuzzy in real life, too, sitting on the shelf in some low-rent piece-of-shit part of the country [where apparently the Ruling Class wants the locals to DIE and to die AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE, as well]).

So tell me, Comrades: are we going to stand for this? NO, WE ARE NOT!

JUST SAY "NO" TO PIG'S BRAINS!