My hick cousin Sallie Mae is such a fucking jerk! Gawd, I borrowed money from her like a thousand years ago. I was pretty sure I'd never have to pay her back since she lived in the woods with no plumbing and what would she need it for anyway, the homey little bitch?
Wow, did she change !
Who knew she would marry that filthy rich dufus from 7-11 who gets a kick back every time someone buys "Tacos at Midnight" flavor Dorritos! Now she hangs with the hottest "suits" (such a whore!) in "lobbies" in Washington, DC, and she wants her money back TRIPLE. She is relentless !
AND you should see the guys she has after me ...
Now I'M the hick .
-- Y
P.S.Just trying logging onto Sallie Mae's web site.
I dare you.
After you loose your little notebook with all the passwords and you get another password & login ID for the EIGHTIETH time, you then have to answer a thousand questions you've forgotten the answers to:
1. Who was your first pet?
Was "Butterball" the hamster my first pet, or was it Oscar, the turtle who I fed raw hamburger to, and who subsequently died with convex eyeballs?
2. What is your favorite band?
What was my favorite band way back when I started this fucking NIGHTMARE called "Lets try to go to graduate school by borrowing money from a psychopathic organization who will hunt me down, rip out my liver, sell it to the highest bidder and THEN charge me googolplex interest"?
3. In what way will you try to jump off a roof when you find out how much you owe us?
A cannon ball?
Just try finding the place on their website to download a deferment form.
Go ahead. Meet me back here in two days.
I dare you to call their 800 number! After an 18 hour wait time, they tell you should have used their on-line services. Their not real people.
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