Hey, moron! Turn your truck around NOW!

Not only are we subject to the constant demand to buy, O My Comrades, but we are also treated like IMBECILES by the governing bodies who regulate EVERY ASPECT of our behavior. This is not in any way The Land of the Free, Comrades, as I'm sure you're well aware. And in most cases, the action taken by the bourgeoisie to control us is impersonal (they're not even there in person to keep us down -- they just put up a sign!) and unmonitored (we're supposed to police OURSELVES, in their interest, by obeying their demands, written, as I said, on signs, signs they post EVERYWHERE and which WE pay for and which usually SERVE NO PURPOSE AT ALL other than to remind us of their power and our helplessness, to instill fear, and to TREAT US LIKE RETARDED CHILDREN!). Take, for instance, this sign, recently noticed by Comrade X as he was visiting his accountant to file his taxes (taxes which will then be used to buy more signs like this one, no doubt):

1. Okay, who the fuck would WANT to park in that strip of dirt by the freeway off-ramp ANYWAY? Why do they feel the need to tell people NOT to do that? And even if they DID want to park there, what harm would it be to do so? IT'S A STRIP OF DIRT! No one lives there, no one has a business there, no one walks there, no one drives there, obviously no one PARKS there, so WHO CARES?

2. Even if for some reason I had an overwhelming desire to park there instead of the parking area which is on the closer side of the sign, HOW WOULD I GET IN THERE? There are, as you can see, blockades to keep cars out (there is another just to the left that didn't make it into the picture)! In fact, the SIGN ITSELF acts as such a blockade! To park in there, I'd have to run over the sign (or have a car two feet wide)! Did they feel that the blockades weren't enough? That people would, in their fervor and delirium and utter insanity, smash through them to park on that strip of land? "Fuck the guv'ment, Martha, I'se parkin' muh truck on thet there dirt and ain't no one kin stop me! This's a duh-MOK-ricy, goddammit!"

3. The blockades THEMSELVES have "No Parking" signs on them! Do they think we're all giants and can't possibly see anything that's only two feet off the ground? Do we never look down? Do we forget to correct for the curvature of the planet and always keep our heads tilted slightly upward? Were the signs not BIG enough? Are we all purblind?

4. If I did want to park there, all I'd have to do is drive over the curb of the freeway off-ramp and onto the dirt. Why are there no blockades or signs on THAT side of the dirt strip?

5. Subject to tow? Even if I did manage to get my car in there, possibly using the just-mentioned method of approach from the non-blockaded side, HOW ARE THEY GOING TO GET A TOW TRUCK in there to tow me away? Is this even a real threat? Does the tow truck have to stay in constant motion to avoid actually parking and being itself subject to tow? I don't see anywhere on the sign where it says "Except for tow trucks." So how does THAT work? AND AND AND: what if I just DRIVE through there, or drive in there and just spin around in circles? Is THAT legal (and speaking of legality, where is the city ordinance reference you normally see on signs that says that it actually IS illegal to park in there? Or don't they even bother to put those references on signs anymore, thinking us thoroughly cowed)? And who is going to tow me if I do park there? On whose authority?)? As long as I don't actually park, am I okay?

Ah, Comrades, we are all fools adrift in a sea of signs, a sea of commands, unable to do anything but comply with the thousand thousand demands made of us every day, the myriad constraints on our actions.

Are we going to take this?