Comrade X has had it up to here!

Yes, this says it all -- Comrade X's message to the Oppressors, the Fuckabillies, Jed and his clan of rich dipshits - the ultimate contrived and disingenuous inversion of capitalist values made to seem a joke in order to keep a seething public of utter dissatisfaction and violent revolutionary hatred complacent and DOWNTRODDEN through the depiction of stupid hillbillies as rich bastards (oh yes, let's all laugh! This is what the rich are like! Yes, ha ha! Of COURSE they are! NO! Do not be so easily manipulated! It is a depiction given by the rich for the benefit of the rich to keep you anesthetized and complacent while they SUCK YOU DRY!), these capitalist whoremongers who, incidentally, are doing their VERY BEST to COMPLETELY DESTROY COMRADE X'S LIFE! Well, Oppressifiers, be warned:

COMRADE X IS ON TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, now look -- Comrade X has been waging this war for many, many years, and in all that time of selfless, impoverished, devoted service to the oppressed and downtrodden he has never, ever asked for ANYTHING. But sometimes, sometimes he gets FED UP! The war gets HOT! No more cold war, no more subversive techniques, but REAL ACTION is called for! To wit:

Comrade X received in the mail a letter from his property management company (The Completely Inactive and Uncaring and Ineffectual Parasitic Fascistic Control Corporate Entity That You Pay For to Do Absolutely NOTHING and Which Will NOT Act in Your Interest At All Management Corp., Inc., LLC), telling him to take down the tiny, barely-visible "For Sale" sign from his street-facing bedroom window. Ha! And why? Well, this company, which seems to exist NOT to serve the interests of the actual property owners but some OTHER unknown entity who has a stake in this building of crackerbox and completely overpriced yet ultimately valueless units (as Comrade X is discovering while he tries to sell his), sent a three-sentence letter (the illiterate drones working at this particular capitalist enterprise not being the most verbose people in the world, apparently) saying that they have "received complaints" about my tiny sign.

Okay, now let's think about this. Does anyone, ANYONE, really care if someone sells their condo and puts a little sign in their window? OF COURSE NOT! And the odds of MULTIPLE complaints!? HA! Ludicrous! So Comrade X contacted this den of thieves, these grinning death's-heads of cackling capitalist insanity, this useless piece of detritus to register his own "complaint" with a certain Debbi, the "Portfolio Manager":

Debbi: Hello, this is Debbi.
X: Debbi, this is Comrade X. What the fuck is this letter you sent me?
Debbi: (After a slight pause) Excuse me?
Comrade X: THIS LETTER!
Debbi: Sir, you'll have to be more specific: what letter are you referring to?
Comrade X: This fucking letter! This piece of shit stationary I PAID FOR with my HOA's that says I have to take my "For Sale" sign down!
Debbi: Sir, I'm not sure ...
Comrade X: Look, this is Comrade X, I live in the Fucking Way Too Expensive Condos, and I have a "For Sale" sign in my window, a TINY ONE, and you sent me a letter telling me to take it down. Ring any bells?
Debbi: If you'll just let me check ...
X: If you have to check, then YOU DON'T KNOW, do you?
Debbi: I ...
X: Look, I'm not trying to confuse you, I just want to know WHO COMPLAINED ...
Debbi: I'm checking our files ...
X: FILES?! Fuck that! Are you serious? You should KNOW!
Debbi: But ...
X: WHO COMPLAINED! Was it a resident? Or residents, plural, like you claim?
Debbi: I'm sure I can't ... ...
X: Oh, fuck that! I'm sure you CAN!
Debbi: Sir, I'm not sure ... I'm still checking ...
X: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you had so much on your plate -- should I do your job for you and tell you exactly what it was you sent me?
Debbi: I, ummm ...
X: It was a letter telling me to take a "For Sale" sign out of my window! Like I just told you! Why are you making me repeat myself here?
Debbi: Well, you see, we ...
X: WHY?!
Debbi: Sir, your language ...
X: Is impeccably precise. So follow, bitch. Why would ANYONE complain about a "For Sale" sign?
Debbi: Sir, I assure you, it was numerous ...
X: HA! I thought you couldn't find the "file"?!
Debbi: Well, I have it now before me and ...
X: And you're a LYING CAPITALIST PATSY! How stupid do you think I am?!
Debbi: Please, sir, if you persist in ...
X: FUCK YOU! I'm going to come down to your office and kill EVERY SINGLE ONE of you fascist swine and THEN we'll see who gets to keep their sign up in their window ...
Debbi: Please, sir, your language ... I'm not sure I can help you if you're so agitated. Perhaps you'd like to calm down and ...
X: YEAH, DAMN RIGHT I'D LIKE TO CALM DOWN! You know what would facilitate that? YOU being NOT a goddamn LIAR!
Debbi: Sir, I'm not going to take this abuse, and if you persist ..
X: Then what? Huh? HUH?! And quit calling me "Sir." I wasn't recently knighted by the fucking Queen of England, for your information!
Debbi: Yes, I'm sure you weren't -- now look, I'm afraid I'm going to have to hang up and call the police ...
X: About what? About your complete and utter abdication of my FUCKING RIGHTS!? About my OWNERSHIP of this ... and your ... peripheral ... not to mention, in-county cross-borderial incursions on personal ... property of ... arrrgh ... arrrrrr ... rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ....
Debbi: Umm, excuse me? Sir, I assure you ...
X: If you had any intention of assuring me, you wouldn't have written me that LETTER!
Debbi: If you have a complaint ...
X: Aaaargh! YES, I have a complaint! Hello?! Haven't I been EXPLICATING it to you?
Debbi: [silence]
X: And what's the deal with this "Thank you for your anticipated courtesy and cooperation in this matter"? ANTICIPATED? Are you inanely thanking me for something you ASSUME will happen? AND do you assume it because you're CAPITALIST SCUM? Or because you're IDIOTS who think that I will IN THE FUTURE somehow co-operate with your "request"? WHO WRITES THIS SHIT FOR YOU?!
Debbi: [silence]
X: And another thing: DO YOU SERIOUSLY EXPECT ME TO FALL FOR YOUR CAPITALIST INTIMIDATION TACTICS?!
Debbi: Sir, look, I'm just doing my job ... I don't even type the ...
X: BECAUSE I WON'T!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!! Don't you know there's a WAR on!?
Debbi: I ...
X: Yeah, that's right, a WAR! A war on capitalism! My comrades and I are ...
Debbi: Sir, this has nothing to do with me. If you could please call my secretary ...
X: AND THEN WHAT? YOU are the focal point! YOU are the cause! YOU, personally, right now!
Debbi: Goddamn, I wish we had phone security in here ...
X: YOU are the ... wait, what's that playing on your iPod? I can totally hear it ...
Debbi: (Pause.) Umm .. it's Coldplay ...
X: Yeah? That's a cool song ... Coldplay, huh?
Debbi: Uhh, I can send it to you, if you like ...
X: MPEG4?
Debbie: Uhhh ..
X: Look, you have my email?
DEBBI: I think so ... is it ... ?
X: Yes, it is. Send it along.
Debbi: Yes, I ... uhh, I can do that ...
X: So ... what do you normally do Friday nights?
Debbi (Confused, and a bit startled): Well, it's pizza night with my co-workers, usually, and ...
X: How would you like to leave that bourgeois shit behind?
Debbi: Bourgeois? I, umm, ...


Yes, I know that my Gentle Readers would like to know what happened on that fateful Friday, but I'm afraid that will have to be a tale told later ...

Suffice it to say, my sign isn't down yet!

Lovingly yours,

Comrade X