I saw this guys T-shirt on the subway today and it all came back to me.
First of all,who decided that shirts have to talk so much. Can't we just wear shirts? Do we all have to shout at each other with our shirts ?
Do we care that you think "Save a tree, wipe your ass with a spotted owl" is funny?
or that you "Hate to love and Love to hate " or that "You were my favorite artist at the Whitney Biennial 2010 "
The general public has been coerced into renting out their chests for unethical sloganisms , dubious advertisements, and cultural ruination for so long that we've forgotten to care anymore. "Here, take my chest for what ever purposes you so desire, oh great and mighty beast.I DOTH NOT NOTICE. "
People ! Let's just be quiet with our shirts .
Shhhhh. SHUSH. shhhhhhhhhhhhh shush ! Why you talk loud at me ?
TODAY Ferdinand Marcos was on the subway and he kindly offered me his seat.
I thought," Well. Ferdinand what are you doing here!?" and I also thought
"Why is this guy such a gentlemen?" and then I thought "Do I look so tired and infirm, that I need to sit down ? "
I quietly declined and gave him an ill fated smile. When he got up to get off the train he stood right smack in front of me. Not a gentleman at all ! His shirt ,oh how I wish you were there to see it.
It had these little illustrations of CIGARETTES having sex all over it ! Yup. Cigarettes with little genitalia giving each other hand jobs, blow jobs , 69's , anal , fucking in all different positions, and doing some other things I actually didn't recognize but was afraid to scrutinize any further.
Actual drawings of cigarettes fucking .On a shirt . Many pairs of cigarettes! Like an orgy! What if a child saw that ? They'd never be able to grow up and smoke without having nightmares.
Speaking of which ,it's possible there was some anti-tobacco message at the top of the shirt but I was too mesmerized by the little cigarette-sex for it to register. And the weirdest thing was that I got horny. Not because they were having sex but because they were CIGARETTES having sex ! It was like double porno.
And stop making your babies wear Che Guevara shirts .
ReplyDeleteUnhappy hipsters.
The beauty of Ferdinand's shirt, Comrade Y, is that it vaguely kills two birds with one stone: if cigarettes fuck, what do they do when it's over? Smoke each other? I think not. One would have to suppose that the screwing ciggies are consuming all that fantastic nicotine (oh, how I recall that first puff rush!) and then once they have completed the act, they are truly spent. So in a sense, it is an anti-smoking message with a strange sexual bent.
ReplyDeleteHell, I already want to fuck anyone at this point. Throw a smoke in the mix? I think I would 'splode. So I get your reaction. Really. And I am starting to...oh. never mind.
Yes. Yes. and Yes. Comrades X and ESmile had me cracking up just now. being both a smoker and a fucker, I just gotta say thanks.
ReplyDeleteand it reminded me of my own personal beef with logos. why doesn't NIKE or BabyPhat or Adidas or Brooklyn Industries or whoeverthefuck corporate clothing conglomerate pay us to advertise for them instead of the other way around? all clothing with logos should be free or cost the seller, not the buyer.
and i am assuming you've seen this - http://unhappyhipsters.com/
Comrade Janie-
ReplyDeleteit is the ex-smoker in me that is coming out. been seven years since the last full smoke and I am starting to jones again. I won't as I know I hate the taste and the headache. It is more the concept of smoking that I miss than the actual act. Kind of reminds me of being married and having sex with the soon-to-be-ex...but in that case, I missed both! d'oh!
agreed on advertising. It is a crock of shit that one should have to pay to support a mega-conglomerate's agenda! and I used to work in advertising so I guess I am a turncoat.
and thank you for the link. I haven't seen it before. I lusted after the architecture probably more than I should. I love a good, clean line.
Viva La Revolucion!
Comrade E
ESmile - don't do it. the concept of smoking is oh so much better then actually smoking. i know you know this. i am only trying to help a fellow comrade stay away from desire of this futile kind. i quit for an age then had 'just that one'. mother fucker. when is X going to rail against the machine of the tobacco companies? i suppose it's pointless by now since we all know they rule the world (along with Starbucks) and we willing let them lead us to our deaths.
ReplyDeleteand yeah, the architecture is good ain't it.
well wishes from the (anti)Jones.
I like a nice, clean line, too. But it always leads to smoking. Wait -- we're not talking about architecture anymore, right?
ReplyDeleteif you can find a copy, check out the book,
ReplyDelete"Cigarettes Are Sublime".
Le F
If you can find a copy, also check out the new book on the connection between smoking and the crisis in the housing market, "Cigarettes are Subprime."
ReplyDeleteExcellent & funny. You guys made me laugh .
ReplyDelete--Y
@Janie- no. I won't smoke. I had a puff of a friend's smoke last summer and remembered immediately why I wouldn't take it up again. And that I needed two shots of vodka to kill the taste from my tongue... I don't want to die that easily. I prefer something slower, like pickling my liver, thankyouverymuch.
ReplyDeleteAs for the architecture... I just look at my Julius Schulman book, make a cocktail, and reminisce about the life I could never have. So pretty, so un-messy. Not reality. But lovely to look at all the same. : )
-E