The results are beginning to come in.

After a fiercely-waged battle in the Most Outlandish Personal Appearance event in the Bum Olympics, local favorite Bluebum took the Golden Shopping Cart. Shopping Bag Pants Guy came in a close second, but when it came right down to it, Bluebum just wanted it more. He was better prepared, more color-coordinated, trained harder, and, well, covered in blue paint. Early in the event, Shopping Bag Pants Guy seemed to pull ahead as the judges were clearly impressed by the variety of shopping bags wrapped around his lower half, but as some started to fall off due to the weakness of the material and lack of adequate attachment, Bluebum began to appear the favorite, as he was less aggressive towards the judges, used no profanity, and did not defecate in his pants (which were not clear plastic -- Shopping Bag Pants Guy seems to have really erred with that move, which cost him quite a few points, especially with the Romanian judge, though the German judge actually raised his score after that occurrence). Coming in a distant third was Purple Muu-Muu Guy who wandered into the stands asking for change close to the beginning of the event.

Asked what his thoughts were upon winning, Bluebum remarked, "I won what now?" Modesty in a champion. Truly admirable.