More Hypocrisy From the Pacific Northwest

Okay, my Comrades, first read the following, then come back for Comrade X's rather late take on this incident (if it's more than an hour old, it's stale news):

http://www.koinlocal6.com/mostpopular/story/Cafe-Owners-Support-Anarchists-Deplore-Police/PxSFB2UbW0GzW-yLknbXWQ.cspx

Now, first off, the whole premise of an anarchist co-managed but privately-owned coffee shop makes no sense politically, and second, anarchism (if that's even a word) isn't even a viable political philosophy. Now, anarchy has numerous definitions, but I'll let Wikipedia (I'm feeling lazy tonight and anarchy, in the minds of TRUE revolutionaries, is a joke, anyway, and not really worth investigating) define it:

• "No rulership or enforced authority."
• "Absence of government; a state of lawlessness due to the absence or inefficiency of the supreme power; political disorder."
• "A social state in which there is no governing person or group of people, but each individual has absolute liberty (without the implication of disorder)."
• "Absence or non-recognition of authority and order in any given sphere."
• "Acting without waiting for instructions or official permission... The root of anarchism is the single impulse to do it yourself: everything else follows from this."

Okay, let's take this point-by-point to show why the Red and Black coffee shop is truly a ridiculous haven for idiots, asswipes, and filthy hippie scum:

1. An establishment that is owned by one set of individuals who have power over a "collective management" is still rulership and enforced authority. For instance: I doubt they let any employee just take money out of the cash register whenever they need it. A business can't run without someone watching over the funds. They have accountants. That's capitalism, people.

2. The Red and Black is not in a state of lawlessness. They abide by the health codes of the city. They belong to the Chamber of Commerce (probably). They pay taxes. They don't let their employees fire guns and shit in the coffee makers. They don't let their customers do it, either. This isn't some Rousseauvian pre-civil society State of Nature. It's a bunch of idiots trying to run a business (and doing it poorly, by my estimation).

3. See #1. Plus, "liberty" seems to be reserved for the patrons of the Red and Black exclusively, and not for those the "management" deems unworthy to be on the premises (though not unworthy enough to spend money on the premises, apparently).

4. See #1. Again.

5. Well, this might be true -- the service there is TERRIBLE to non-existent.

BUT BUT BUT: and here is Comrade X's main complaint: THEY STILL TOOK HIS MONEY BEFORE THEY ASKED HIM TO LEAVE (and, by the way, they didn't have a meeting to see what the "collective management" thought about this -- the owner did it individually. How anarchist is THAT?). Now, if that isn't the essence of capitalism right there, I don't know what is -- money before principles. Always always always. They aren't anarchist -- they're fucking business people with a particular gimmick that they hope will bring in a demographic otherwise untapped by other coffee establishments (which, by the way, are a dime a fucking dozen here in the Pacific Northwest). Consider: the Red and Black, following their anarchist beliefs, decide one day not to serve ANYONE, just because they're in a bad mood. How long would this place last? Or: they decide not to keep the posted hours. How long would they last? Or: they decide ONLY to serve 2% and no soy milk with a big sign over the condiment area saying "Fuck the Lactose Intolerant!" How long would they last? A business runs on its customer base; if you can't provide what they want, you have no customers, and you go out of business. They know this. And they act accordingly. (And why do they know this? Because they're CAPITALISTS who went to business school!) What they actually provide is the ILLUSION of some kind of anarchist freedom and lack of adherence to authority and rules.

Anarchy is stupid. Period. And only an idiot would uphold it as a political philosophy (which it isn't).

Now, don't get me wrong, Comrade X is very ambivalent in his views of the police (especially the police here), but he is NOT torn in his views on hypocrisy and stupidity and hippies and "anarchist collective coffee shops" and similar bullshit. You want a fucking revolution? Buy guns, not shade-grown free-trade Arabica! You want to make a political statement? Overthrow the government and perhaps, just perhaps, DON'T BE A PART OF THE CAPITALIST ENTERPRISE BY OPENING A FUCKING STORE, and certainly don't get your panties in a wad because a cop is buying coffee from you because you, you know, SELL COFFEE. AND DON'T SELL IT TO HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITES!

Anarchists can kiss my ass. Fucking hippie dipshit know-nothing fuckwads. They're the first to go to the wall when the real Revolution starts, I can promise you that. All the rope huarache sandals and balloon pants and ponchos and tie-dye and patchouli incense in the world won't save you now, motherfuckers!

Sweet dreams, parasites.