Like most sane people I hate balloons. And I hate Mylar balloons, but most importantly I hate Mylar "Get Well Soon" balloons. People get sick and other people feel frightened and awkward and don't know what to say, so, although they are well meaning, they buy you a Get Well Soon card and a Get Well Soon Balloon with a Get Well Soon ribbon "fancifully" cascading down.
A word to the wise- don't. Stop right there. Just don't.
Besides the fact that they are indescribably ugly, the real crime is that there they are constantly floating and swaying above, mocking you!
They say, "Oohhh look at me , I'm all happy and colorful and full of lighty floatyness , while there YOU are, welded like a freight car to your hospital bed, pale,suffering, and dying of salmonella poisoning" !!!!!!!!
Some one buy me a blow dart, please? I so wish I had a blow dart.
can you reach the string attached to the balloon? if so, grasp said string, getting the balloon into your hand. grab any sharp object (ballpoint pens, IV needles, teeth) and puncture that sucker with all your might.
ReplyDeleteI agree. They are only appropriate for small people. Or inhaling the helium from. Because they do mock and I do not like mocking!
Feel better soon...
-E