The IBS Advice Column II

And the latest (the letters are coming faster than we can answer them, and they are not always easy to answer, either -- just look at the following):

"Dear Irritables,

Why am I so ugly?"

Dear Anonymous (why can't people sign their letters?):

You are ugly because, well, because you're ugly. How do we know? Perhaps your mother drank Mad Dog 20-20 while pregnant with you; perhaps she smoked meth; perhaps she smoked meth AND drank Mad Dog 20-20; perhaps she fell down a flight of stairs. Perhaps YOU fell down a flight of stairs. Could be anything. Our advice? Stop asking why and start doing something about it. Really, the world has enough eyesores.

Hope that helps. We are not trying to be mean-spirited, Anonymous, it's just that, well, you really ARE atrociously ugly. That picture you sent gave us a panic attack.