What IS this shit? I'm pretty sure that you can't take lotus extract, whatever THAT is (lotus flowers smashed on big rocks by penny-a-day Hindu laborers holding smaller rocks?), rub it on your thighs, and "visibly reduce the appearance of cellulite," unless it's some kind of skin-colored cream that fills in the potholes and makes everything SEEM smooth, because it doesn't say it gets RID of cellulite, no, it merely claims to reduce its appearance, which, to this Comrade, sounds like bullshit snake-oil make-up (despite its being the "advanced formula," and "new," like the last version was merely the same old C-grade inferior bullshit -- it's funny how advertisers love to say how inferior the previous version of the same product was. If you were smart, you'd realize that THIS version is just as inferior -- and useless).Nor does this Comrade get the difference between "redefining gel cream" and "smoothing cellulite gel-cream." Does one cover up cellulite while the other completely changes your personality? Does it have peyote extract in it? Does it make you dance like that commodified bitch on the package? And WHAT THE FUCK IS A BIO-SLIM COMPLEX? It sounds like something that just made it into the recent edition of the DSM. I mean, really, yes, you'd have to have a complex to use this shit, and yes, it would have to be about your bio-slim neurosis, but COME ON! haven't we had enough of meaningless advertising drivel and phoney concepts that don't even make sense on a linguistic level?
Apparently not.
This culture is doomed. And this Comrade, for one, is not sorry to see it go. I just hope it's in my lifetime so I can LAUGH, yes, LAUGH at all the morons who ran out to buy Nivea Bio-Slim Complex "My Silhouette!" [which of course makes it sound like you're hiding in the shadows, like you've got something to hide] Redefining Gel-Cream (which can in no way "redefine the body's contours" -- only liposuction or a really heinous auto collision can do that), only to find that in the long run, they ended up being exactly who they were when they started. Boo-fucking-hoo! Why don't you buy some onion goggles to help quell your tears?
(Comrade X is not happy as he just cleaned a giant load of the world's foulest-smelling cat shit out of the bathtub, and so apologizes for his irascible tone. Fucking counter-revolutionary cats.)
Anyway, whatever, if you're retarded, put on your bathing suit and rub this shit all over you and dance around like a moron. The exercise might actually redefine your body's contours, who knows.
And I thought you would latch onto the concept of "gel cream." how can a gel be a cream and vice versa? I recognize that they are both solidish liquids, but they certainly aren't the same (and I know this as I checked the definitions of each just to be sure)!
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