Unswallowables-- the story of my evening

I went to the Ice skating rink, I mean grocery store, to do research on the present state of rampant capitalism ,but I was also hungry ... and I came upon this lovely item.

I purchased it to perform an in depth examination, and study the list of ingredients (Modified vegetable gum ? Pea protein ?) but then, THEN I got really hungry and confused and accidentally tried to eat it!

Lets look at what the package says:

1. Think green, Eat green ? BULLSHIT.
2. Sante Fe good stuff --my balls?
3. Sauced and ready to go? Yeah, I'm sure !

Honestly ,I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I JUST TRIED TO EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I heated up these little packages of balls in their own separate juicy plastic sacks?... and

now I think I know what they meant by Soylent Green. Seriously, I think I just ate someone's grandpa's testicles.

I swallowed (once) and now I feel dirty, like Captain Pollard on the whale ship Essex.

Lunch with me !