Capitalism: making suicide easy for all of us

Yes, my Comrades, if you have ever had any doubt that capitalism spits in your face and pisses on your grave after killing you BECAUSE IT CAN and doesn't care about you AT ALL, here is a product that doesn't even TRY to hide its contempt: Helping Hand straight razors. Because if you need a helping hand killing yourself, HERE is the product for you! Instructions for use:

1. Become utterly disenfranchised with your own life due to the relentless grinding misery of NEVER-ENDING CONSUMPTION and the inescapable need to BUY SHIT YOU NEITHER WANT NOR NEED ALL THE TIME.

2. Decide life is no longer worth living due to the need to deal with fucking bureaucrats and their toadies who are trained to say NO to you and to wear you down until you give up in utter disgust while they laugh, LAUGH at your expense and smoke cigars they light with YOUR MONEY while figuring out ways to fuck over your children and children's children until the END OF FUCKING TIME or at least until every single business, public utility, and government in the world, every fucked-up mud-caked shithole corner of it, even the ones they hate and exploit mercilessly and use for their own demonic amusement (building their McMansions on the mass graves of dead workers), is united in one unassailable conquering oppressive looming corporate entity ("BUY OUR SHIT NOW" SAYS LIDLESS EYE ENTERPRISES, INC.!).

3. Buy Helping Hand straight razors (single sided because you only need one side to die. Two sides are for incompetent losers. But since even suicides think along CostCo lines these days, you get TWO packs of FIVE razors, giving you a.) the ability to fuck up 9 times before getting it right, and/or b.) leaving, if you are smart enough and sober enough to do it right the first time [or close to the first time], MORE razors left for your descendants and others you leave behind so they can enjoy the benefits of oblivion. OR: they can do what consumers normally do [to the never-ending amusement of the asslicking scum who sit in judgment of our spending sins and find us wanting, wanting, ever wanting]: throw away the rest and BUY THEIR OWN PACK and kill themselves with THOSE!).

4. Get drunk. Or not. Write suicide note. Or not. Who cares -- they take all your money, anyway.

5. KILL SELF and find release from the HELL of capitalism.

Which of course is the dilemma: give in and do what they WANT you to do, kill yourself so they can laugh at you, or opt out of their soul-destroying system by killing yourself, and then they laugh at you for being so stupid as to think you can ever escape the Long Arm of the ALFUCKING Mighty Dollar.

What will you do?

THERE IS NO ESCAPE!

But that doesn't mean we should lie down and give up the fight and be trampled and mocked, O My Comrades!