CRANTASTIC! CRANERGY!;
Ocean Spray makes a splash with partnering, new products, fresh flavors and...
(Ocean Spray Cranberries Inc has profited considerably from a partnership with Pepsi-Cola Co)
Okay, here we have a product ostensibly made out of Cranberries, except it's really exciting and fantastic! Actually,It's Crantastic .....
Did you know that cranberries are the fucking tartest thing on earth and in order to make them palatable one must add one pound of sugar PER berry.
"Here!!!! Have this juice!!!! Lets be really full of energy!!!! Drink it!!!! Guess what will happen ? Your awful terrible life will suddenly become fabulous!"
One pound per berry? The Oppressors are trying to give us diabetes, too -- another plot UNCOVERED!
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