What type of person are you?

Here's a test to see where you stand vis-a-vis the glass:

1. When I encounter unexpected setbacks, I
a.) want to kill myself.
b.) want to kill others.
c.) actually do kill others.
d.) blow shit up.
e.) complain, but no one listens.

2. When something good happens, I
a.) look for the catch.
b.) assume it was meant for someone else.
c.) squander whatever gain I get on liquor.
d.) don't notice it.
e.) assume it's a mistake, because nothing good EVER happens.

3.) People normally describe me as
a.) depressed and gloomy.
b.) stupidly optimistic.
c.) pathologically pessimistic.
d.) scary and creepy.
e.) someone they would not want to be, ever.

4.) If I saw a car accident, I would
a.) laugh.
b.) get out of my car to get a better view.
c.) go to my happy place.
d.) hope someone else calls the ambulance, because I'M not going to!
e.) be annoyed that traffic is now going to be hell going the other way.

5.) I think of my extended family
a.) as obstacles to my happiness.
b.) rarely.
c.) all-too-often.
d.) as rotting in their graves.
e.) when I need to borrow money.

Scoring:

For every "a" answer, give yourself 5 points.
For every "b" answer, 10 points.
For every "c" answer, 20 points.
For every "d" answer, 30 points.
For every "e" answer, 50 points.
For every question not answered, 100 points.
For every question answered multiple times, 200 points.

Add your total, subtract your age, add 6 points for every year you have worked at your job, subtract 5 points for every time you wanted to kill your co-workers, add 16 points for every time you engaged in illegal behavior, subtract 1 point for every failed relationship.

0-25: You are a "shatter the glass and slit your wrists with the shards" person.
26-50: You are a "What glass?" person.
51-75: You are a "glass half-empty" person.
76-100: You are a "glass half-full" person.
100+: You are an "I need therapy, and lots of it" person.