Oh God, I know. I know. I do love it! I just can't stop! I really have to stop. I try and try, but it's just, like, this craving that overpowers me. It's almost like there are giant signs telling me to eat it. I'm so obsessed sometimes I even go out and bum some from the teenagers in the alley.
But look, I found this company. Please lord, I hope they can help me.
Committed Kraft Quitters
You know you don't have to quit eating Kraft macaroni and cheese on your own. The Committed Kraft Quitters stop eating disgusting shit program can help you track, target and tame your temptations. You'll find out when, where and why you're tempted to eat it at all! We understand here at the KCQ how hard it is to spend an extra two seconds grating cheese and opening a package of pasta.
Your Kraft Committed Quitters plan is a personalized, multi week program designed to help you quit for good. It's an online stop-" fluorescent orange powder"-program that helps you understand your nasty fucking habits and identify your uniquely lazy and lacromose challenges and cravings that might trip you up.
That's how the Committed Kraft Quitters helps you learn to change your lack of existential angst --once and for all.
Sign up for free:
- Personalized solutions to get you past your enslavement to sodium tripolyphosphate.
- Ongoing information to help you stay committed and strong and free from fucked up mega conglomerates .
- E-mails and newsletters to help you manage the exact triggers you'll face as you break your habits of shiny yellow curved tubes on blue backgrounds.
- Daily reminders, tips, and inspiration to help keep you going in this world.
I am frightened of the curved yellow tube. Apart of me says, "Oh dear lord what the hell is that!?!" and wants to run away, gouging out my eyes in a fit of lovecraftian existential terror. Another part of me says, "Hey, I could really go with some mac'n'cheese right now.....maybe with chilli....mmmmmm.....chillimac."
ReplyDeletehelp me.
Le F
mmmm....sodium tripolyphosphate.....
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, what are they REALLY saying?
ReplyDeleteThey are saying,"You are powerless over it. ALL OF IT."
y