This shoe is sexy.
This shoe is sturdy.
This shoe is comfortable.
This shoe is boring.
This shoe is ridiculous.
And this shoe is just motherfucking STUPID. I can't believe that I actually see people WEARING these. IN PUBLIC! AS FASHION STATEMENTS! What the fuck kind of moron wears a shoe that has separate pockets for the toes? What exactly is the advantage of this? And I've seen people EXERCISING in them! Apparently it's an ATHLETIC SHOE! Fucking hell, people, get a fucking grip! This is just a fucking sartorial abomination! What load of shit have you been fed that made you buy them? Fucking capitalist consumers: they'll buy ANYTHING if REI sells it. FUCK YOU, REI! FUCK YOU for making me have to see this shit in my daily life! Fuck you for making me have to live in a world where this product exists! Fuck you for making me have to live in a world where people exist who will BUY this product! Just, FUCK YOU! Oh, and they come in a sexy strap version, too:
Oh, and: it's NOT a shoe!
Please reassure me that you have NOT seen anyone wear these in your town, because that means I will have really terrifying nightmares.
ReplyDeleteY
REI is my most hated store. I have NEVER found one thing I wanted. I browse, often surprised that there is nothing for me. Nothing! Not even to fantasize about. It is filled with gross over-priced plastic garments for people who dream of going to Mt. Kilamanjaro. Eww. God.
ReplyDelete-J
i know someone who weres these. In Public. Oddly enough he is an ex-Marine and says they are very comfortable and great to run in. Granted they are hideously ugly and offend my refinded French sense of aesthetics. But I am not one to feel that being offend is some sort of crime. Or, of course I would be doing time. I guess there is no accounting for taste.
ReplyDeleteLe F
Le F
Comrade Y-
ReplyDeleteUm, I know a couple who each have their own pair. Hers are green, his are blue. I love them dearly but despise their footwear choices. And yes, they live here.
I have seen them in many stores and am always astounded that people would wear them. Think of what it is like to get one's toes into those little toe-gers (like fingers, but not!)... The thought frightens and revolts me.
It is because of shoes like this that I have to try on every goddamned pair of Louboutins I can come across (not easy considering I wear a 42). The pretty, pretty French shoes somehow magically remove the ugliness perpetrated by those ghastly shoes.
-E
Y --
ReplyDeleteSadly, I cannot reassure you, and, as the above testimony, umm, testifies, yes, there are people here who wear these things. Even couples which, of course, is just about the worst thing you can imagine. His n' Hers Toe Shoes -- get 'em while they last. Only $199.99.
Sweet dreams.
-- X
Aren't shoes meant to protect your feet from injury (i.e. stubbed toes)? These would be completely worthless. Plus, they are even creepier than those ninja booties that you see from time to time. I bet the higher ups in the ninja cadre make the minjas wear toe shoes...it adds to their terrifyingness.
ReplyDeleteLe F