I saw this guys T-shirt on the subway today and it all came back to me.
First of all,who decided that shirts have to talk so much. Can't we just wear shirts? Do we all have to shout at each other with our shirts ?
Do we care that you think "Save a tree, wipe your ass with a spotted owl" is funny?
or that you "Hate to love and Love to hate " or that "You were my favorite artist at the Whitney Biennial 2010 "
The general public has been coerced into renting out their chests for unethical sloganisms , dubious advertisements, and cultural ruination for so long that we've forgotten to care anymore. "Here, take my chest for what ever purposes you so desire, oh great and mighty beast.I DOTH NOT NOTICE. "
People ! Let's just be quiet with our shirts .
Shhhhh. SHUSH. shhhhhhhhhhhhh shush ! Why you talk loud at me ?
TODAY Ferdinand Marcos was on the subway and he kindly offered me his seat.
I thought," Well. Ferdinand what are you doing here!?" and I also thought
"Why is this guy such a gentlemen?" and then I thought "Do I look so tired and infirm, that I need to sit down ? "
I quietly declined and gave him an ill fated smile. When he got up to get off the train he stood right smack in front of me. Not a gentleman at all ! His shirt ,oh how I wish you were there to see it.
It had these little illustrations of CIGARETTES having sex all over it ! Yup. Cigarettes with little genitalia giving each other hand jobs, blow jobs , 69's , anal , fucking in all different positions, and doing some other things I actually didn't recognize but was afraid to scrutinize any further.
Actual drawings of cigarettes fucking .On a shirt . Many pairs of cigarettes! Like an orgy! What if a child saw that ? They'd never be able to grow up and smoke without having nightmares.
Speaking of which ,it's possible there was some anti-tobacco message at the top of the shirt but I was too mesmerized by the little cigarette-sex for it to register. And the weirdest thing was that I got horny. Not because they were having sex but because they were CIGARETTES having sex ! It was like double porno.
