I'll tell you what I just realized.
Everyone is high on weed!
Yeah, yeah, Its a plant . It expands your mind. It helps old ladies sleep better,and something about their eyeballs. It helps skinny girls gain weight, and Mexican drug lords gain economic freedom. It's all peachy keen and earthy isn't it?
BUT GOD DAMMIT... NO WONDER EVERYONE IS SO STUPID.
It's all coming together for me now. An entire state is finally EXPLAINED.
Weed is legal. At least that's what all my kids and my kids friends parents, and my kids teachers, and the fucking crossing guard, kept saying.For some reason it didn't really dawn on me until today when the Fed ex guy stared at me like I was a bag of cheese doodles.
He wonder aloud "Yo, how you gonna get this big package up the stairs by yourself?" Right there in the quivering sunlight, it struck me like a ton of bricks,
OH MY GOD, THEY ARE ALL STONED OUT OF THEIR MINDS.
1.For years and years I could NOT figure out where my mail was .Why the mailman could not decipher a simple series of 5 numbers was a mystery, until now!
I always thought they just shoved my letters and packages in the dumpster behind the post office and lit them on fire because they were lazy. STONED.
2. The style here. Oy vey. Are you really still getting fake boobs?People are walking around stuck in circa 1999 PCP TIME TAR.
3. Where does all the states money keep disappearing to? All tied up in "Bubble Gum Kush"!
FAIL.
4. All those inexplicable events of the past explained! I once asked for Iced-T and the waitress asked me, "What do I do? Put a t-bag in Ice water ?" Slightly high, perhaps?--SINCE BIRTH?
5. The frozen food aisle suddenly makes sense ! OF COURSE !
I know-duh-it's old news. I don't know why it took me so long.
Ach. If I fall asleep will I become a big bud pod like in Invasion of the body snatchers?
